25 Apr

April 25, 2025April 25, 2025Trish Women's Health

Living with PMDD: Turning Against Myself

There’s a version of me who laughs easily, makes plans, gets things done, and shows up for the people I love. And then there’s another version — one who spirals, shuts down, or disappears completely. Living with PMDD means learning to live with both of them. And let me tell you, it’s exhausting.

Let’s start off light…

What is PMDD?
PMDD stands for Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. It’s like PMS cranked up to a level that interferes with your ability to function. It’s a severe hormone sensitivity disorder — my brain has an extreme reaction to the natural hormonal shifts that happen during the menstrual cycle. These are normal hormonal changes… but my brain doesn’t react kindly to them.

Stats You Should Know
Roughly 5–8% of menstruators live with PMDD. That may sound small, but it’s not — and those who do live with it are often misdiagnosed or suffer in silence. Like most of women’s health issues, it’s under-researched and deeply misunderstood. But the emotional, mental, and physical toll is very real.

And here’s something that isn’t talked about enough:
People with PMDD are at a significantly higher risk of suicidal thoughts and behaviours. According to the International Association for Premenstrual Disorders (IAPMD), up to 30% of individuals with PMDD will attempt suicide in their lifetime, and more than half experience suicidal ideation at some point.

That’s not just a stat — that’s a wake-up call. PMDD is not just about mood swings or irritability. It’s a serious, life-threatening condition that deserves more attention, research, and support.

PMDD and ADHD: My Perfect Storm
I also have ADHD. And let me tell you, the PMDD + ADHD combo is like a double whammy. ADHD already impacts executive function, mood regulation, and memory. Layer PMDD on top and things can feel absolutely unmanageable. The luteal phase (the time between ovulation and my period) becomes a dark tunnel I fall into every single month.

How PMDD Affects My Life
It affects everything.
Relationships? I do my best to educate and warn my loved ones on my symptomology and when it will flare up. But still, relationships face great strain. I’m much more quick to anger and irritation, leading to shutdowns. Sometimes I get so mad I see red. The worst part about this is that I don’t know when it’s going to happen. I could be having a completely blissful time with my partner, and one out-of-pocket comment or small disruption can set me off.
And then comes the shame. The apologies. The repair. The exhaustion of having to explain that I know this isn’t me, but I still need you to understand me.
Work and school? It’s a constant cycle of burnout. I have about one “good” week a month. The rest, I’m either recovering or surviving. And yet, expectations don’t change. Deadlines don’t wait. Life doesn’t pause for PMDD.

The Phases and the Symptoms
My PMDD symptoms vary depending on where I’m at in my cycle:
Follicular Phase (after my period): This is my “good” time. I’m productive, motivated, optimistic.
Luteal Phase (after ovulation): The switch flips. My emotions become intense and unpredictable. I feel ragey, hypersensitive, anxious, depressed. Small things feel enormous. I question everything — my worth, my relationships, my abilities.
Menstruation (when bleeding starts): There’s a strange release here. Unlike typical menstruators, the storm starts to lift. I still feel drained, emotionally hungover, but a little clearer.

What It Feels Like
Sometimes it feels like there are two of me. One who loves life, and one who wants to burn it all down. One who shows up, and one who wants to vanish. It’s a flip of a switch — a random trigger — and suddenly I’m the meanest version of myself. And I know it. I’m aware of it as it’s happening, but I can’t always stop it. It’s like watching a car crash from the inside.

How I Cope
I’m learning how to work with PMDD, not fight it. It’s not easy, and there’s no quick fix, but these things help:
DBT Skills: Dialectical Behaviour Therapy has been huge — especially distress tolerance and emotional regulation.
Planning Ahead: I track my cycle religiously. I try not to make major decisions in the luteal phase. I give myself permission to do less.
Exercise: Moving my body helps, even if it’s just a walk.
Eating Well: Balanced meals, enough protein, and limiting sugar and caffeine during my luteal phase makes a difference.
Mindfulness: Grounding techniques, breathwork, and self-check-ins can help me catch the spiral before it goes full throttle.

Living with PMDD means I’m constantly learning how to be gentle with myself. It means asking for grace when I want to disappear. It means holding space for both versions of me — and refusing to be ashamed of either one.

If you live with PMDD, you’re not alone. And if someone you love does — listen to them, believe them, and offer softness. This isn’t just “PMS.” It’s real, and it’s hard, and we need each other.

PMDD Education & Support
Her Mood Mentor
Her Mood Mentor is one of my favourite PMDD advocates. She offers natural, evidence-based approaches to PMDD relief. Her free Symptom Mapping Kit was what helped lead to my diagnosis and understanding of PMDD. A must-have if you want to start tracking and understanding your unique PMDD patterns.

IAPMD (International Association for Premenstrual Disorders)
This association is awesome for cold hard facts about PMDD. iapmd.org has comprehensive information on PMDD, including treatment options, peer support groups, and crisis resources.

Impart Therapy
A Canadian-based psychotherapy practice specializing in PMDD, PME, and severe PMS. Their team offers individual and couples counselling, as well as monthly DBT-focused group support sessions.

16 Jul

July 16, 2024Trish July Blog Post

Excessive Phone Use

Smartphones have become a part of our daily lives, but for many, they have turned into an addiction. Do you find yourself mindlessly scrolling, searching for that next dopamine hit? If you are constantly checking your phone for notifications, messages, or updates, neglecting your work or study responsibilities, or even your personal relationships, you’re not alone.

Perhaps you feel anxious or restless when you can’t be on your phone, experience sleep disturbances because you’re using your phone late at night, or feel irritable and uncomfortable when you’re unable to use it. These habits are more common than you might think. In fact, according to a recent report by Statista, approximately 3.8 billion people worldwide struggle with phone addiction

Excessive phone use doesn’t just affect our external lives; it can also take a significant toll on our mental health. The pressure to stay constantly connected and responsive can lead to anxiety. Social comparison is another major factor—exposure to curated and idealized images of others’ lives on social media can make us feel inadequate and even depressed.

This issue affects everyone, including adults, teenagers, and children, who are more easily exposed to negative interactions and cyberbullying on social media. Additionally, the constant distractions from frequent notifications and the habit of multitasking on our phones can reduce our attention span and focus, making it harder to concentrate on important tasks.

How can we help ourselves? Start by setting limits on phone use and make sure to stick to them (I know, it’s easier said than done!). Disabling non-essential notifications can reduce distractions and help you focus on your daily responsibilities. Consider designating phone-free zones, such as at the dinner table or in your bedroom, to create a healthier balance. Finally, make time for hobbies and activities that don’t involve screens. These small changes can make a big difference in managing phone use and improving your well-being.

10 Jul

July 10, 2024April 25, 2025Trish ADHD

Understanding Delayed Gratification and ADHD: Why It’s Challenging and How to Overcome It

Delayed gratification is the ability to resist the lure of an immediate reward and wait for a more substantial reward in the future. While this skill is essential for achieving long-term goals, it can be particularly challenging for individuals with ADHD. Let’s explore why delayed gratification is difficult for those with ADHD and strategies to help manage this challenge.

Why Delayed Gratification is Difficult for People with ADHD

People with ADHD often struggle with executive functioning deficits, which can make practicing delayed gratification challenging. Impulsivity is a significant factor, making it difficult to resist immediate temptations in favour of long-term goals. Additionally, difficulties in planning and organizing tasks can obscure the path to achieving long-term rewards. The brain’s reward system in people with ADHD may be wired to seek immediate gratification, and lower levels of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward, can make immediate rewards more appealing. There is often a heightened sensitivity to delay, meaning that waiting for a reward can feel uncomfortable or even intolerable.

Time perception is another critical aspect, as many people with ADHD experience “time blindness,” making it difficult to accurately perceive and manage time. This can make future rewards seem distant and less tangible compared to immediate rewards. High levels of distractibility can lead to challenges in maintaining focus on long-term goals, making it easier to give in to immediate distractions. Difficulty sustaining attention on tasks can prevent individuals from making consistent progress toward long-term rewards.

Emotional regulation is also affected, as people with ADHD often have difficulty managing their emotions, leading to impulsive decisions aimed at achieving immediate emotional relief. Lower tolerance for frustration can make it hard to persist in activities that don’t provide immediate gratification. Self-motivation can be a challenge, as there may be difficulties with intrinsic motivation, where the individual finds it hard to engage in activities that do not offer immediate rewards. Relying heavily on external motivators can make it difficult to pursue goals that require internal motivation and self-discipline. Working memory issues can make it hard to keep long-term goals in mind, leading to a preference for immediate, more easily remembered rewards. Frequent switching between tasks can disrupt the focus needed to pursue long-term goals, resulting in a tendency to favour immediate rewards.

Strategies for Practicing Delayed Gratification with ADHD

While the challenges are significant, there are effective strategies to help individuals with ADHD practice delayed gratification. Setting clear goals is essential. Define specific goals such as “I will save $50 per week for three months” instead of vague statements like “I want to save money.” Visualize the benefits of achieving your long-term goals to stay motivated. Break tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Completing small tasks can provide a sense of accomplishment and help maintain motivation. You can also use checklists to keep track of completed tasks and progress.

Using reminders and timers can be very effective. Set alarms or reminders on your phone or computer to keep you on track. Use timers for work sessions to create a sense of urgency and reward. Creating a reward system can help bridge the gap between immediate and delayed gratification. Give yourself small rewards for completing tasks, and practice delaying rewards by setting conditions such as “I can watch my favourite show after I finish this task.”

Practicing mindfulness and self-regulation can increase self-awareness and control over impulses. Use mindfulness techniques or meditation, and employ positive self-talk to encourage yourself and reinforce your ability to delay gratification. Seeking support is also beneficial. Find an accountability partner such as a friend, family member, or coach to help you stay accountable. Consider working with a therapist or counselor who specializes in ADHD to develop strategies tailored to your needs.

Utilize technology to your advantage. Use productivity apps designed to help with focus and task management (e.g., Trello, Todoist), and website blockers to reduce online distractions. Regularly review your progress and adjust your strategies as needed. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small, to build confidence and motivation.

Practicing delayed gratification is a skill that can be developed over time with consistent effort and the right strategies. For adults with ADHD, it’s important to be patient with yourself and recognize that small improvements can lead to significant long-term benefits. With the right approach, you can enhance your ability to delay gratification and achieve your long-term goals!

28 May

May 28, 2024April 25, 2025Trish ADHD

ADHD and Hygiene

Maintaining good self-hygiene can be a real challenge for ADHDers. Difficulties with organization, time management, sensory overload, and maintaining attention can make routine hygiene tasks feel so overwhelming. However, with the right strategies, it’s entirely possible to manage these challenges and develop effective self-hygiene habits.

Here are some practical tips to help you stay on track:

Creating a consistent daily routine is crucial. By scheduling personal hygiene tasks such as bathing, having a shower, or brushing your teeth at the same time each day, these activities can become *automatic* parts of your day. A set routine minimizes the effort needed to decide when to perform these tasks, making it easier to follow through.

Visual aids can also be incredibly helpful in prompting you to engage in personal hygiene. Place sticky notes or checklists in often-used locations around your home (like your bathroom)!! These reminders can act as cues to help you remember your hygiene tasks, therefore reducing the chance of forgetting them.

Longer, time consuming tasks can feel daunting, but breaking them down into smaller, manageable steps can make a big difference. For example, instead of viewing taking a shower as one big task, break it down into steps like gathering your towels, undressing, shampooing, washing, and drying off. This approach can prevent you from feeling overwhelmed from one “big” task.

Using alarms or timers on your phone or other devices can serve as helpful reminders. Set these for specific hygiene activities throughout the day, such as brushing your teeth after meals or washing your face before bed. This method ensures that you don’t forget important hygiene tasks.

Motivation is ALWAYS key. Create a reward system to encourage yourself to practice good hygiene habits consistently. After completing hygiene tasks, treat yourself to something enjoyable, like watching a favourite TV show or indulging in a relaxing activity. Rewards provide positive reinforcement, making it more likely you’ll stick to your routine.

Don’t hesitate to ask for help. Family members, friends, or roommates can offer encouragement and accountability. Having someone to check in with or provide reminders can be incredibly supportive in maintaining your hygiene routine. Their involvement can help you stay motivated and on track.

Finally, make adjustments to your environment to support your hygiene habits. Install shower organizers to keep your toiletries easily accessible, use electric toothbrushes or flossers for convenience, or invest in grooming tools with built-in timers or reminders. Tailoring your environment to your needs can significantly ease the process of maintaining good hygiene.

By integrating these strategies into your daily routine, you can improve your self-hygiene habits and manage the challenges associated with ADHD more effectively. Establishing a routine, using visual reminders, breaking tasks into smaller steps, setting alarms, rewarding yourself, seeking support, and adapting your environment are all practical steps that can lead to better hygiene and overall well-being.

As always, reach out to the Yellow Serenity team for support. You got this!

14 May

May 14, 2024April 25, 2025Trish May Blog Post

Art for ADHDers

Exploring the Therapeutic Potential of Art for ADHDers

Let’s dive into the dynamic world where ADHD and art intersect, exploring how creative pursuits can offer unique benefits and strategies for managing ADHD symptoms…

For those navigating the challenges of ADHD, expressing thoughts and emotions can sometimes feel like trying to untangle headphone wires. Art steps in as a liberating alternative, offering a canvas where words are optional!! Through colours, shapes, and textures, we can communicate with depth and nuance, bypassing the limitations of verbal expression which we sometimes get stuck on.

Life with ADHD can often resemble a rollercoaster ride with twists and turns. In the midst of this chaos, art becomes a calming escape. Engaging in creative activities acts as a soothing balm for the restless mind, providing a much-needed break from the whirlwind of daily stressors. Whether it’s the rhythmic strokes of a paintbrush or the meditative process of collage-making, art offers a “serenity” where individuals can find peace amidst the storm.

But it’s not all about serenity; there’s a healthy dose of triumph too! Completing an art project isn’t just about making something pretty; it’s a testament to resilience and creativity. For individuals with ADHD, each finished masterpiece is a confidence (dopamine) boost, a reminder of their capabilities and potential for growth.

The benefits of art extend far beyond the realm of creativity. Engaging in artistic pursuits hone essential skills like organization, time management, and attention to detail—skills that are often challenging for ADHDers. By flexing these cognitive muscles through art, individuals can enhance their ability to navigate daily tasks and responsibilities with greater ease and efficiency.

It is clear that creativity offers a myriad of benefits for individuals seeking to manage their symptoms and thrive in their daily lives. By embracing creative expression, individuals can tap into a wellspring of self-discovery, resilience, and personal growth. Grab your paintbrushes, unleash your imagination, and let the artistic journey begin!

04 May

May 4, 2024April 25, 2025Trish May Blog Post

Unlocking Productivity: The Power of Body Doubling

In the realm of productivity hacks, one lesser-known yet highly effective technique has been gaining traction: body doubling. Rooted in psychological and behavioral principles, this method offers promising benefits, particularly for individuals grappling with ADHD or executive functioning challenges. Let’s delve into why this approach works and how it can transform the productivity game.

Social Facilitation
Ever noticed how having someone around can spur you to perform better? That’s the magic of social facilitation. Research underscores that the mere presence of others can amp up our performance, especially on tasks we’re familiar with. Body doubling capitalizes on this phenomenon by providing a supportive environment for task completion. Whether it’s tackling projects requiring sustained attention or sheer effort, having a companion in the room can make all the difference.

External Accountability
Accountability serves as a potent catalyst for behaviour change and task accomplishment. With a body double by your side, there’s a palpable sense of external accountability, even if they’re not actively involved in the task. This external presence can help individuals with ADHD stay anchored and focused, knowing that someone else is privy to their efforts. It’s a subtle yet powerful motivator that can nudge you toward your goals.

Reduced Feelings of Isolation
The journey of battling ADHD often feels solitary, with waves of isolation and loneliness crashing in, especially during challenging tasks. Enter the body double, offering companionship and social support. Their presence not only alleviates feelings of isolation but also uplifts mood and motivation. It’s like having a silent cheerleader by your side, making the arduous journey seem less daunting.

Accountability and Feedback
While your body double may not be actively engaged in the task, their presence serves as a beacon of accountability and feedback. They offer words of encouragement, praise, or gentle reminders, steering you back on track when distractions loom large. Their silent yet supportive role can be instrumental in maintaining focus and productivity.

At its core, body doubling taps into the power of social support, external accountability, and modeling to bolster focus, motivation, and productivity, particularly for individuals navigating ADHD or executive functioning hurdles. While further research on body doubling itself could be illuminating, its underlying principles find firm footing in empirical evidence from related fields of psychology and behavioral science.

In a world brimming with productivity hacks, body doubling stands out as a beacon of simplicity and effectiveness—a testament to the profound impact of human connection on our ability to thrive in the face of challenges.

By Kaleigh Smith, RP

12 Oct

October 12, 2023April 25, 2025Trish October Blog Post No Comments

ADHD and Relationships: How Couples Counselling Can Work For You

ADHD and Relationships: How Couples Counselling Can Work For You by Emma Giao

When one or both partners have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), it can bring unique struggles to the relationship. As a couple’s counsellor myself, I’ll be the first to admit that one of the most difficult challenges I encountered at the beginning of my practice was integrating ADHD-affirming care into relationship counselling. It’s a delicate balance between healing each person’s wounds while also trying to help my clients move forward with a new, more constructive way of being in a partnership.

ADHD: What is it?

ADHD is often characterized by several different symptoms including attention difficulties, impulsivity and emotional dysregulation, all of which can lead to impairment in several areas of life. A great metaphor to describe the result of this combination of symptoms is if you imagine having one hundred thoughts all rushing in at once then, like colorful balloons, they start trying to float away. One hundred balloons are hard to catch! This is what makes it difficult for those with ADHD to, for example, follow through and complete a task.

So how does this affect a relationship?

Some examples of how ADHD tends to escalate conflict in relationships include:

People with ADHD might forget important dates or tasks, such as appointments or doing the evening dishes. This may come across as laziness on the part of the ADHDer, leaving the other partner resentful.
Impulsive decisions or actions can sometimes lead to misunderstandings or conflicts. Sometimes this is understood as financial mismanagement.
Paying attention during conversations can be challenging, making communication less effective. This may come across of selfishness or lack of caring about the other person’s thoughts or feelings.

Managing time and responsibilities can be tough, leading to stress and arguments. This is often misconstrued as a lack of maturity on the part of the ADHDer.
ADHD can make emotions more intense and change rapidly, affecting how partners connect and relate to each other. This may come across as emotional volatility or overreactions.

Couples counselling can be the difference between a healthy and resentful relationship. Here’s how:

Psychoeducation: Psychoeducation is the process whereby the couple’s counsellor can explain ADHD through various psychological models. This may help both partners understand the neurobiological underpinnings of the condition and serve to validate the symptoms for both partners. Oftentimes, this results in increased empathy for both parties.
Tips and tricks for communication: No relationship is perfect; couples will always have some degree of conflict. Couples counselling can help teach both parties to have productive conflicts based on factors such as impulsivity and poor attention. This results in improved communication
Problem-Solving: Counselors equip couples with problem-solving tools. They help partners work together as a team to find solutions to ADHD-related challenges. This builds on feelings of empathy and emotional support in the relationship.
Safe Space: Couples counsellors can provide a safe, non-judgemental and productive space where both people can feel heard. This can be a game changer for a resentful partner who is looking to work through feelings of neglect in the relationship.

ADHD poses unique challenges in a relationship. Couples counselling for ADHD is a wonderful preventative and resolution tool that can help partners learn to navigate challenges and build stronger, more resilient connections.

If you are interested in learning more or want to connect with Emma to start doing couples work, reach out to us and we will help guide you through the process.

Emma Giao, RP (Qualifying)

Living with PMDD: Turning Against Myself

Excessive Phone Use

Understanding Delayed Gratification and ADHD: Why It’s Challenging and How to Overcome It

ADHD and Hygiene

Art for ADHDers

Exploring the Therapeutic Potential of Art for ADHDers

ADHD and Relationships: How Couples Counselling Can Work For You

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